Goodbye 2011

New Year's Eve.  While the city...the world crackles in anticipation of a brand new year, I'm home in my pj's with my little guy watching cartoons. No parties, no champagne and kisses at midnight.  In fact, we will probably be dozing off before 11pm. 

It's been a whole day of cartoons and snoozing, nothing special about this Saturday, except that it's the last one of 2011.  While other women are putting on their mascara and sparkly stilettos, I've got my wool socks on and my hair in a ponytail.  

New Year's Eve just does not hold that static excitement for me that it once did.  For the past five years, my New Year's Eve nights have been simple and fairly somber, spent at home with my little love. No fanfare to bring in the next year- it just just rolls in quietly- barely making a sound. 

I will admit- I do fall into the trap of wanting to spend the night celebrating ushering in a brand new year with someone special.  Today and tonight I have caught myself several times wallowing.  Just like the other days when I catch myself wallowing in my blaring singleness, sometimes it's just harder to pull myself out of it and focus on what I do have.  And I do have so much.

What's so special about December 31st?  Really?  New Year's Eve is just that, the eve of a new year.  There's no magic eraser wiping the slate clean for everybody.  "Old acquaintance" really aren't forgotten when the clock strikes midnight.  There isn't any kind of "do-over" for anyone.  I hate to burst anybody's bubble, but that just isn't the way it works.  The same troubles follow us into the new year.  The same pressures, the same stresses, the same problems... but we also carry with us the same hopes and dreams.  A new year is simply replacing the last page of your wall calendar with a new one.

What a new year does offer is twelve more months.  Twelve new months to release yourself of your troubles, your stresses and your problems.  Twelve months to continue chasing your hopes and dreams, to set and accomplish goals both old and new.  We have a new 365 day gift. It's up to us to take advantage and use these 365 days to their fullest potential.  To OUR fullest potential.

Too many people sit back and either reflect on how amazing the year has been or how rotten.  There's nothing wrong with that, but shouldn't we be doing that daily?  Everyday we need to see how much better the next one can be.  We cannot dwell in the past and expect our future to be any different.  What we can do is turn our mistakes into lessons and take those lessons to create the future we want.  What we should do is carry that fire that lights within us when we realize a dream and turn that dream into a goal.  

Why does all this have to wait until December 31st?  The last day of the last month of the year shouldn't be the time for reflection, but the time for wrapping it up.  We shouldn't be motivated for next year, we should be motivated for NOW.  Don't make "resolutions", make goals.  Don't start reaching for the stars; keep reaching for them.  

Maybe those are the reasons are why New Year's Eve doesn't hold that special shininess of something new for me.  I reflect almost everyday.  Of course I do get excited about what can unfold for my little guy and me in the upcoming months.  I cannot wait to see what God has in store, what adventures await.  I know what my plans are, I just don't know what His are.  That is where the excitement lies. 

Perhaps next year, I'll be putting on mascara and sparkly stilettos and getting ready to ring in another year with champagne and midnight kisses. I guess I'll find out in 364 days. 

Happy New Year!